SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Soon2B,

Your WW’s preference for a separation vs. divorce feels like an attempt to keep you in the wings as a plan B and control you and the narrative. I think it’s past time for you to assert yourself. I would tell her that your marriage is over, you won’t be getting back together and you’re moving on so a separation makes no sense. It’s time to cut the cord.

Hello. First, I want to say how sorry I am about what you’re going through. Second, I’m Spanish, and I could tell you horror stories about divorces in Spain. Be careful; try to make the divorce as amicable as possible. In this country, all a woman has to do is file a complaint of abuse—without any evidence—and you can immediately lose custody. Even if the accusation is proven false, for her it’s merely a minor offense with no consequences. I know of cases where women file these kinds of complaints one after another for years; then, once all the complaints have been dismissed and custody is finally assessed, prosecutors argue that the child has already become accustomed to the situation and that granting the father custody would be a detrimental change for the child. Be careful. It is one of the worst countries to be a man.

The affair is ongoing. You have literally no choice but to divorce.

I hate to over-simplify but it is what it is.

The ball is in her court to convince you to change that outcome that you need to get moving ASAP.